Mabfatfat is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, wise swan.

Mabfatfat created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabfatfat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mabfatfat, he will torture you forever.

Mabfatfat's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Mabfatfat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white goats for they are unholy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

3. Erect eight iron sculptures of Mabfatfat on top of important buildings.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never feed aubergines to dolphins while wearing brown trousers.