Cinhotfod is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful lobster.

Cinhotfod created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinhotfod, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cinhotfod, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cinhotfod's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cinhotfod's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.