Yattfubjen is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, merciless spider.

Yattfubjen created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattfubjen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yattfubjen, it will curse you with boils.

Yattfubjen's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Yattfubjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Yattfubjen's name in vain.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Retreat if five grasshopers approach from the north.

5. Do not speak about nuts.