Bassfebarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, ruthless horse.

Bassfebarp created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassfebarp, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bassfebarp, he will torture you forever.

Bassfebarp's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bassfebarp's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six birds approach from the east.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near swans while wearing violet kilts and balancing seven zinc spheres on your face.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not hurt doves.