Hanlogcat is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, calm toad.

Hanlogcat created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanlogcat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hanlogcat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hanlogcat's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Hanlogcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to turtles while wearing rings.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near badgers while wearing white hats.

3. Never paint your legs turquoise.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Never look in ponds.