Yamyogkap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate weasel.

Yamyogkap created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamyogkap, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yamyogkap, it will jump up and down on your head.

Yamyogkap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yamyogkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Hide from turquoise goats for they are unholy.

3. Never think ill of sick birds.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Respect your elders.