Maplimham is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, emotional elephant.

Maplimham created everything that exists three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Maplimham, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Maplimham, he will come to you in dreams.

Maplimham's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Maplimham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Do not kill nematodes.