Natdonmilveddimtikhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, narcissistic centaur.

Natdonmilveddimtikhiv created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natdonmilveddimtikhiv, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Natdonmilveddimtikhiv, it will cry a lot.

Natdonmilveddimtikhiv's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Natdonmilveddimtikhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.