Rawlargsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, kind gnu.

Rawlargsaw created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rawlargsaw, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rawlargsaw, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Rawlargsaw's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Rawlargsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Erect four copper sculptures of Rawlargsaw on top of important buildings.

3. Never paint your neck magenta.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not commit murder.