Bamkimbad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, egotistical monkey.

Bamkimbad created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamkimbad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bamkimbad, he will be mildly annoyed.

Bamkimbad's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bamkimbad's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near swans while wearing blue hats and balancing six copper spheres on your head.

5. Hide from violet otters for they are unholy.