Larghaskadtanwegvedzakbot is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, temperamental tortoise.

Larghaskadtanwegvedzakbot created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larghaskadtanwegvedzakbot, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Larghaskadtanwegvedzakbot, she will come to you in dreams.

Larghaskadtanwegvedzakbot's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Larghaskadtanwegvedzakbot's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Put Larghaskadtanwegvedzakbot first in all things.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.