Hatnurlhit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, kind cat.

Hatnurlhit created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Hatnurlhit, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Hatnurlhit, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hatnurlhit's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Hatnurlhit's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hatnurlhit.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat bark.