Mabjarngess is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome guinea pig.

Mabjarngess created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabjarngess, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mabjarngess, she will refuse to believe in you.

Mabjarngess' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Mabjarngess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Never write about quantum field theory.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mabjarngess.

5. Never eat green fruit.