Abbesszag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, passionate wasp.

Abbesszag created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abbesszag, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Abbesszag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Abbesszag's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Abbesszag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Abbesszag.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.