Bopmabstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, able monkey.

Bopmabstaf created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopmabstaf, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bopmabstaf, he will make you grow a tail.

Bopmabstaf's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bopmabstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Retreat if three tapirs approach from the east.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.