Bessdanlik is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, quiet aardvark.

Bessdanlik created humanity four million years ago.

If you believe in Bessdanlik, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bessdanlik, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bessdanlik's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bessdanlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Bessdanlik must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.