Yarpnilontgod is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, wise crocodile.

Yarpnilontgod created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnilontgod, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarpnilontgod, she will manifest in front of you.

Yarpnilontgod's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yarpnilontgod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

2. Hide if four horses approach from the west.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Never go into brown rooms.