Quarttadjip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, weak jackal.

Quarttadjip created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quarttadjip, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quarttadjip, it will turn you into a puffin.

Quarttadjip's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Quarttadjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Never hurt cats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never eat carrots.

5. Always help gulls in need.