Tigmumhot Toncat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, effective monkey.

Tigmumhot Toncat created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigmumhot Toncat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tigmumhot Toncat, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tigmumhot Toncat's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tigmumhot Toncat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick seals.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.