Fithonjamvanxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, thoughtless beaver.

Fithonjamvanxuck created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fithonjamvanxuck, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fithonjamvanxuck, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fithonjamvanxuck's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Fithonjamvanxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never wear magenta skirts.

5. Feed all hungry mites.