Tadkopwot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, conceited dugong.

Tadkopwot created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadkopwot, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tadkopwot, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tadkopwot's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tadkopwot's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Hide from red eagles for they are unholy.

5. You must pray to Tadkopwot six times a day.