Maphenteen is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous cat.

Maphenteen created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Maphenteen, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Maphenteen, it will refuse to believe in you.

Maphenteen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Maphenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six aardvarks in a large pit.

2. Never feed apples to mites while wearing fawn hats.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Run away if nine squirrels approach from the west.