Futhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, weak shark.

Futhiv created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Futhiv, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Futhiv, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Futhiv's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Futhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never talk about spacetime near foxes while wearing cyan scarves and balancing four tin spheres on your chest.