Barntungat is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, clever grasshopper.

Barntungat created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Barntungat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Barntungat, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Barntungat's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Barntungat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Barntungat's name in vain.

2. Do not hurt gulls.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Never talk about spacetime near manatees while wearing cyan shirts and balancing seven iron spheres on your feet.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.