Yakwabyim is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, contented giraffe.

Yakwabyim created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakwabyim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yakwabyim, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yakwabyim's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Yakwabyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near sheep while wearing gray dresses and balancing four aluminium spheres on your chest.

2. Hide if nine foxes approach from the west.

3. Do not take Yakwabyim's name in vain.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never wear jumpers.