Rantabhiv is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, charitable wyrm.

Rantabhiv created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rantabhiv, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rantabhiv, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rantabhiv's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Rantabhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from gray aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Do not kill pigs.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not shave your face.