Loptapkom is a god.

It takes the form of a large, bad-tempered fly.

Loptapkom created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loptapkom, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Loptapkom, it will turn you into a mole.

Loptapkom's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Loptapkom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four mites approach from the east.

2. Hide from indigo aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never paint your hands magenta.