Xucklatwit Saklarpgig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, benevolent chinchilla.

Xucklatwit Saklarpgig created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Xucklatwit Saklarpgig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Xucklatwit Saklarpgig, he will turn you into a puffin.

Xucklatwit Saklarpgig's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Xucklatwit Saklarpgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never eat bark.