Hattambell is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, compassionate deer.

Hattambell created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hattambell, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hattambell, he will boil you in a big pot.

Hattambell's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Hattambell's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt gulls.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.