Lagcenpopstip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, stupid alligator.

Lagcenpopstip created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagcenpopstip, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lagcenpopstip, he will destroy your home solar system.

Lagcenpopstip's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Lagcenpopstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about grasshopers.

2. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Lagcenpopstip in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never paint your feet pink.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.