Bomhakwik is a god.

She takes the form of a small, grumpy bat.

Bomhakwik created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomhakwik, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bomhakwik, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bomhakwik's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bomhakwik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Worship no other gods but Bomhakwik.