Wapnakstaf Larpbomtig is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, witty yak.

Wapnakstaf Larpbomtig created a charm quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wapnakstaf Larpbomtig, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wapnakstaf Larpbomtig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Wapnakstaf Larpbomtig's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Wapnakstaf Larpbomtig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wapnakstaf Larpbomtig.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Retreat if five moths approach from the south.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not drink alcohol.