Tarpominved is a god.
It takes the form of a chunky, fast
spider.
Tarpominved created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Tarpominved, it will grant all your wishes.
If you do not believe in
Tarpominved, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.
Tarpominved's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.
Tarpominved's Holy Commandments1. Do not chop down trees.
2. Never think about nebulae.
3. Fast once a month.
4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.
5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.