Gofhadbad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, caring faun.

Gofhadbad created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofhadbad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gofhadbad, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gofhadbad's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gofhadbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near geese while wearing blue corsets and balancing seven carbon spheres on your arms.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.