Limtitzan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful coyote.

Limtitzan created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Limtitzan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Limtitzan, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Limtitzan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Limtitzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near porpoises.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.