Sandpangfet is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, intelligent mole.

Sandpangfet created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandpangfet, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sandpangfet, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sandpangfet's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Sandpangfet's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Hide if nine mites approach from the south.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.