Kimviddob is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, blissful jellyfish.

Kimviddob created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimviddob, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kimviddob, he will send minions to preach to you.

Kimviddob's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Kimviddob's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near grasshopers while wearing gray ear rings.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

5. Never talk about capybaras.