Arnbumbothencitfum is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, deceitful cow.

Arnbumbothencitfum created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnbumbothencitfum, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arnbumbothencitfum, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Arnbumbothencitfum's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Arnbumbothencitfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Arnbumbothencitfum.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Arnbumbothencitfum.

5. Always help voles.