Litloopvin is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, stupid snail.

Litloopvin created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litloopvin, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Litloopvin, it will laugh at you.

Litloopvin's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Litloopvin's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Litloopvin.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not kill bats.