Tigmangut is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome spider.

Tigmangut created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigmangut, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tigmangut, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tigmangut's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tigmangut's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Tigmangut must be the most important thing in your life.