Ciddubfun is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, uncaring newt.

Ciddubfun created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ciddubfun, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ciddubfun, she will turn you into a frog.

Ciddubfun's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Ciddubfun's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never paint your legs brown.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Ciddubfun in the centre of the settlement.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ciddubfun.