Karkarmil is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, ruthless mongoose.

Karkarmil created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Karkarmil, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Karkarmil, he will turn you into a goat.

Karkarmil's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Karkarmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Hide from orange ducks for they are unholy.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not keep four hamsters in a large pit.