Tettizog is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable monkey.

Tettizog created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Tettizog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tettizog, it will cry a lot.

Tettizog's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tettizog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not keep five snails in a large pit.

3. Never talk about optics near squirrels while wearing green hats and balancing seven zinc spheres on your arms.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never write about stars.