Latwanwip is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-confident human.

Latwanwip created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latwanwip, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Latwanwip, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Latwanwip's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Latwanwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Put Latwanwip first in all things.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Fast once a month.