Nanbisswan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, charitable snail.

Nanbisswan created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nanbisswan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nanbisswan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nanbisswan's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Nanbisswan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Do not listen to music.