Kadkomneg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless chicken.

Kadkomneg created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Kadkomneg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kadkomneg, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kadkomneg's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kadkomneg's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kadkomneg.

2. Always treat badgers with great respect.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near goats while wearing white dresses and balancing six lead spheres on your face.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.