Tinyamnib is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy guinea pig.

Tinyamnib created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinyamnib, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tinyamnib, she will make you grow a tail.

Tinyamnib's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tinyamnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near eagles while wearing blue hats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Tinyamnib in the centre of the settlement.

5. You must pray to Tinyamnib seven times a day.