Duttitrot Tapvedfid is a god.

He takes the form of a small, clever owl.

Duttitrot Tapvedfid created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Duttitrot Tapvedfid, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Duttitrot Tapvedfid, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Duttitrot Tapvedfid's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Duttitrot Tapvedfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Never talk about gravity near dogs while wearing yellow boots.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.