Padbudjad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, astonishing salamander.

Padbudjad created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padbudjad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Padbudjad, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Padbudjad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Padbudjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never paint your hands cyan.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.