Gonratbem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, smart wolf.

Gonratbem created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonratbem, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gonratbem, she will be mildly annoyed.

Gonratbem's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gonratbem's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. You must never eat wheat.